A Cute Melancholia

by Ochuka

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Telomere, Mbala, Proof of Life, The EP, I Give You Nothing But My Soul, Dua Ya Nafsi, A Cute Melancholia, Soul, and 4 more. , and , .

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1.
Cha Ajabu 02:34
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Track - Cha Ajabu Waliovalishwa pete hawana chanda Kalamu ni vitu blunder Wino haiongozi kiwanda Hall of fame, culture imegeuka anasa Beauty vague maua ni ya kutupwa juu ya jeneza Cha kutumaini hauna Hauna soul kichwako imefura Kuna leakage ya sinema kwenye mitambo Simu zina password Body ina self-destruct Imefika ile point, kura ni suicide, katiba ni kurasa tu za obituary Gram ndio the new measure Ufuasi hauna malengo ya kuazmia Wamefilter sumu ka moshi ya sigara Disclaimer ni Ceaser kuwin jackpot lottery Taxpayer kiwanda ghetto, biashara zinafungwa kasi, udongo hauleti tena mimea Sinema ni ma-horror tu Taasisi zinaongozwa na mafisadi, vijana wanauliza wapi haki zetu? Hiwaruhusu mikopo toka nchi za ng'ambo, bunge haipitishi miswada ya kuijali hali yetu Midia zinafungwa kwa hiari Utalaam haupo tena, tuko tu za, "Bora uhai." Elimu imetozwa mbali, haingazi jins Ya kutatua shida, kazi ni kusaka kazi Wengi wamepoteza hadhi Umaskini, magonjwa na maradhi Cha ajabu tunaepuka kuzungumzia, aibu na stigma, Mitaani kila siku crime scene Booty ndio the new anchor kwa telly Tribe ndio ratili ya kuficha mass slavery Bendera imekuwa ni utumwa Sauti ya mnyonge ni martyr Risasi zinawauwa zimetoka ikulu Legal tender ni sumu Wanagoteana mikono na damu za watu Kila kukicha Kuna vita vya kupigania nani kumwabudu Raslimali haztusaidii, zinatuongeza majukumuu Angalia saa Hio ilikuwa after Mau Mau ikiwapasulia pasia Kuna harakati kwa mtandao Kila mtu mtalaam Ujanja wa miji kubwa, rushwa kwanza kesi badae Mapedeje mabilionea Kizazi kimevunwa mazao Hawana future, utu umewatoka maze Cha ajabu Kio cha usanii kimevunjika Mauti hii sio changa Maisha filamu, kuna mikosi na taabu Cha ajabu Hamna wa kurudisha wakati nyuma So imani inazama Roho zinaumwa Siku zijazo, nani atazungumzia?
2.
Girl 01:35
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Track - Girl While the world laughed, you stood by me Others ran, you chose not to flee You got hell on earth for loving me Nothing scared you away, by my side you stayed To my father above you prayed and prayed To switch places with me when I was slayed Girl, I could feel it in my wounds Late night phone calls, and my soul blooms Some tried to judge you by picking up stones Shattered furniture and glass-made homes Jealous people throw, ricochet Bobbing and weaving as they come their way As my world burns, you bear the flames You were still there when the smoke cleared We bumpin jazz, and cry rivers of rain Girl, I could see it in your eyes, As your tears fall, I would catch them all No hatred in my heart, I feel no pain, my soul's at ease No questions, God made his choice But always in your mind will be my voice Don't cry, boy You make me feel some type of way I promise I love your hair grey I promise imma be okay Let's dance slow, Rhyming under stars and black holes I promise imma make you, smile I'm happy I made these records Let the world know about you You my old gal My whole world Seven circles around the sun Cause you must know you are my true love, Yes you are, Grandma's love Grandma's love
3.
Hard To Choose 03:19
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Track - Hard to Choose We fell asleep where skies turn blue The radio, stereo slide, the pain was leaking you It's like watching fireflies They fade into stars from the ground view Pluck the notes of the pain inside And raise ghosts of the minds under chains Then open sea battle, let the demons drown Die slow The highway looks glorious until you come around Poking branula on the vein trying to see, where the future died Afraid to cry, in the picture, so the scans are full of dots and lines Dig deep, to find where the future resides Mind bending, we all die clocked on the flight of time So spill the seeds of these dying breeds The pollens fall as life pass you by So dry your tears don't grieve and hope you strong for another goodbye Cause they leave knives stuck where ribs and flesh bind And carry stalks like keys buried in the flower pot in the backyard So let the grave diggers regroup To put a hole on the ground for you When it rains (Double O) I put the Ohs together, breathe the ashes of my blues Shout to ma nigga Spook, fuck I'll never stop loving you Things that grow in a soul remembered by heavy stones and head tombs Where's home? I was looking for yellow petals Dust to dust, in lonely Mexico I was hooking plugs, the two step bypass, and deep the body carries the holes of a slug Photographs, of x-rays suggest no remedies for the broken parts Memories, the size of a tumor comfort you that you got no scars Somewhere in the plotline Somewhere where dreams decline The past is a whole in these badly scarred parts Try not to get stuck And you got to breathe... They say iron for iron Body is flesh but mind is made of steel So be a little nicer, before graves yawn From childhood halls of great dreams To depending on the fault of stars lurking in the wish You still here standing next to me. After the world said it was heavy that they wanted to be free: Thank you Unwrap your paths unfold: in trying times see past your hopes If you could watch your soul fight: colours of chaos, dressed in stormy bloodlines. You'd wish you don't deserve little wars Heart the weight of lilied lettuce: floating on literal grief How do you survive? Curling my broken limbs, rooted on an elbow crutch, My body has these, hungry, sickening pains But pain is before sword, manifolds - Cuts deep into stories untold. Black filth, fire coal, dynamite porch I gave death, two years to arrive Empty puzzles stuck in my own body. But many days Have got to blow limits off, starve the pain We are all dirges. Mourn your musicalities The thing about survival: it's a rule bender, a law destroyer and it doesn't make sense most of the times Rear view: how did we ever make it this far? No I am not tethered on my pains. I'm stuck at free prefix drain. Turning self into magic - awe myself a times Maple leaves: red like a woman in pain
4.
Kaseti 03:58
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Track - Kaseti Ua linakujachanua Unashuka home, pasipo bustani majonzi ndio imebaki kwa sura Nyumbani hatukufarijiwa na mengi mema So labda ungezasema uchungu maradhi sijapona Hatuchagui vumbi juu yetu itatupwa Haibagui hundi, au... hii nafsi iliundwa Kichwani mawazo mema kukuza Ingawa ndoto hazikuwangi wazi kujua Kwa kila hali, mbaya bovu, ukadaitutaandika Mashairi ya kusifiana ili moyo ipate faraja Mapenzi yenye dhati na taraji Daraja za moto haziendi kwa kasi Bibi alitushauri "Lindeni yenu dhidi ya misiba zinazojiri." Dunia inazidi, sikutaka ifike siku tutaishi tukilumbiana, mara hiki Mara hiari kubadili sabu wengi hawaridhiani "Unakuwa naye vipi kipindi ye huwa broken kila wakati? Unapenda vipi wakati anaezadie any time kukuwacha na majonzi? Unampenda ye, mtandao amejaza tupu pain kwani hakuthamini?" Japo nilifanya mema walinilipisha mabaya, Japo nilikuwa mwema nililipishwa lawama, But for now skiza kaseti Sikunuia kukulazimu wewe Bustani ya Nafsi ilikuwa yako santuri Nilitaka ujue madhara huwa yanatokea na inawakuta watu Sometimes, ulifeel haufai, wakati wengi walikuchosha maswali Nilikuwa nimeunplug toka kwa watu ni kweli roho yangu ilikuwa mbali Naskiza mapigo moyo kwa umbali Shida tumepitia, labda ilikuchosha hali Ulifadhili kipimo changu kamili Nahisi upendo unaponiambia historia yangu haikutengi na mimi Familia iliguswa na ripoti za mitaani Ilikuwa niishi miaka au labda miezi tu Wengi walichoka, nafurahi haukuniwacha Siku mingi, niliandika hisia zangu za kuhofia labda hamna tena siku njema Marafiki niliokuwa nao walitoroka Wengi badala ya kukaribia, from a distance niliskia wakinikana Iliniuma, ila maisha pandashuka, nilijua hiki sio kilenilichagua Kumbe michosho tu, wakajadili haufai kuwa na mimi Lawama sina, mara mingi ulijishawishi kuwa na mimi haungezidi Ahadi za kunusurika zikavurugwa Hiki kilio, machozi beti Nikatumia mashairi kama shimo ya kuzamisha hii nafsi Na japo struggles zilianza zamani Wanasema hauwezizuia ujio wa ajali Sijui ni wapi, Nafikiri hapa ndio hao husema tutaonana baadaye Siku roho yangu inashuka wakizungumzia hadithi yangu juu ya chupa za barley Msaada niliomba ilifanya heshma yangu ishuke Nafurahi though, kuna wengi wameniinua, hao hutaka niponye Natamani macho yangu yakutane Na sura yako nyumbani ukirudi, forgotten Nikabaki ka picha za kaseti Imani ikasepa japo nilijua ikizidi huwaga imebidi Nimeishi za deni Nimeishi siku mingi bila hata penny Nakuombea mema, wanasema ukipenda mboga umeipenda na ua lake Kipindi underground Mapenzi yakageuzwa utumwa Na mwili ukazidi vidonda kuumwa Zungusha santuri, mahali ulipo skiza kaseti
5.
Mama 02:45
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Track - Nostalgic Matter/13/Mama Said Duog Itera bayo Hallo Barupi nyochayudo mama, rem ma iwinjo omiya paro Tangu daddy kuaga, ni uchungu maisha na mapitio Ni sad unafeely lonely like a, black widow I never seen my mama cry Until the velvet that carried pop's remains went down that day Nilikuwa mdogo tu Saa hii nikikumbuka maua nilibeba kuweka juu yake hunipain Na ka haikutosha hio trauma Uncle J, great grandma Gloria Niendelee kubonga au hadithi ntawapunguzia? Ninety Two, mamangu akarudi nyumbani na sonogram Ni kweli mlivunjwa moyo, weather flani gloomy ikahang Sometimes, blessings huja after siku mbaya na sad Mimbangu ikatunzwa, jinangu ikatafutwa na fam Sometimes nafeel birth yangu iliharibu reputation ya nyumbani It's a boy These eyes look like mine I feel beautiful, ndio kwa mirror nikijitazama ninajua papi alikuwa right So mommy nimeweka hadithi yetu through the mic Niko dunia flani very far Ndio nakuskia kila day ukilia ma I was just closing my eyelids to sleep then gear you sing My church I hear melodies bleed in my dreams For nights I cried afraid to call home Ma, You my soldier of love My muse, when I stab letters composing my crafts I breakdown I try everyday, to hold maself together I'm sad cause I miss you, everyday I'm sad I got a lot of stories I wanna share with you And now every woman I meet, am looking for your laughter in her soul As time goes, I realize, How lonely you get sometimes, mama I wish that wouldn't last Leave the radio off And send a prayer through the nights You give me hope, even though These humming birds suck nectar out ma soul You've seen me like this I've seen you like that I'm embarrassed for all the days I hid my pain from you
6.
Ocean Sunset 02:30
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[13:37, 18/09/2019] |: Track - Ocean Sunset I Nimehave kuficha roho further from the sleeve Cried a river siku Papi alidie Ukanambia, "Baby, everything will be alright." Pause this: Grandma alikua amelose sight Reason? Diabetic Tukitoka hosi mwanzo mwanzo siku flani Ukamikumbatia ukanivuta machozi natry everyday kuienact into poetry So nimeweka hadithi yako kwenye journey Barupa eraoro ochopni Dani I'm bleeding out Mama: Hakuna kitu hungeweza do for me Siku zimepass, Najua river yako haijadry Yangu June, yako January Ndio uko stellar, bless you Mon Cheri Bahari ikubusu na sunset glory You're too much heaven (pause) Mommy: Markers zikiishiwa rangi Dementia na pressure au taabu zozote za uzeeni Baado me ntakuenzi Baado still, ntaremember future ikimeet past ndani ya memory Ndio hunifanya kila day by Nikufiche ndani ya sweet melodies Naona sura yako mchanga ufukweni Meli ikileta barua, dance with me Ntajua uko free, Sabu sender ni me, returned the the royal pedigree First persona My soul is sandy, coral flora Sweet sarcoma Sunsets of orange The new black powder? Suckling screw drivers On wooden chest of a loving mother Cross dividers When I cross these rivers My feet is wading grace, diviner Boats ferry torpedoes Bless the waters where my soul roams Every pain gets heavy sometimes And every name needs saving all times Wormball crawling the evening skies I'm worn out, my wounds are never drying When the seas meet my departure My journey compass further With every sunset With every glowing fire, the most graceful soul I ever met Love divides times into nights and days I heal where I am most broken I'm closed where I am all open I remember to forget And every day I roll the dices My head is full of migraines My only regret is dying and never returning the pen That you gave me as child, on my younger days So birds sing beautiful sorrows when they're caged For you love I borrow, For my old lady, struck my soul with an arrowhead Told you imma watch the sunset glory witchu Build the fire for you Grow a garden for you Seed my flowers for you. Ah
7.
Remember Me 04:19
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Track - Remember Me Dear Grandpa I still breathe, even if any day I could be gone I hope you hear me up in heaven cause I wrote you this song I heard you wrote a poem for me But I never got to read it Well, I'm a writer too I guess that's history repeated You knew me as a boy But I've grown to be a man They say I look exactly like you, I even got your smile behind the glass I'm worried for my grandma everyday Cause when it comes to being a survivor, I wish I could relieve her of the pain I get scared when chemo runs through my veins I pray for the power to overcome the things I cannot change I know am doing my best to fight it They say I have a big heart Beautiful mind, that you not here to see me through it really makes me sad I wish I knew more about you Bet you were really smart Sometime I think about you while I'm doing work in the yard I was only three years old so I don't remember the day Your flowers died and god took you away. RIP Hook: Wowowo Give me back my memories So I can be alive again With you, you you Nikikumbuka, na we hauko hapa, tena Naumia... (Naumia...) Niko tu ha hisis, hisia, hisia (You remember me) (You remember me) (You remember me eh eh) I wrote So many letters with my silent pen I was Soaked in posters, sirens, flames My body's on fire Inside the ambulance, last week Could've been my last kicks Goodbye if I leave tomorrow, on my last day I write these poems with so many hidden scars So many missing, broken parts Sometimes I wonder what it takes to blow the pack They said I was too deep, I wrote my own mythologies In that Eulogy, we was just scripting wounds on beats for the world to see The last scans broke my soul That last record got me feeling worn out I've been dead for long: What's a glass vase if everything resembles that sad black rose? I even hoped my fans could stand up And show me some support, does anybody out there still listen? They say we are just a speck of dust passing through the glory Like blind moths, we die facing the light while our wings become dusty It's hard being a spot of sympathy You survive on blindspots like a bottle in the genie So many days I felt like, "Lay me down to sleep," Finally, the soils with my body blend Blow the dust on my records, let my voice fly away After love There's no law, beyond nothing we embrace Is there a point why we survive When we carry more death than we supposed to bear? Cause then pain Turns you to philosophies empty days got me looking for meaning Bring down your prejudice Put up the victim's fence Pollen mix with anthers when flowers cry And drugs fail You go the experimental way In the event of extreme suffering, do not resuscitate I wanna die with a DNR, knowing that I never was afraid With my soul intact When graphs slow down Don't ever make the pace Let the drums rock and crowds weep silent We find no heaven in these blue clouds What if death, is the biggest fraud? Angels become foul Deep where all my demons are found, No tender protest to crush with the soldier's boot No sadness deep enough to compose classical blues Just rivers running red And birds chirping lost tapes through the vinyl, ma LPs burning Surgery keyholes To watch the universe hidden inside ma body Sadly, there was no more future inside of me Cast the shadows through divine lobby Watching everything die before my eyes from an end-of-life balcony Fate please be kind and take care of my child for me Oidet fa snel utahanandomin von fomi Ödet var snäll och ta hand om mitt barn för mig
8.
Season Courage 02:53
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Track - Season Courage (Verse 1) They smooth with the poison they spit Ever since they put a crutch on my limbs Time dispatch blades on my wrist Tell who would've seen? My gravity was faulty, I wrote all my soul out, but they only saw the ink If it wasn't for these mental debris I wasn't dying to live, I was just dying to breathe Ventilators under critical debriefs My files are growing thick But my future slim shady I marshal plans to weather through storms and greed I've survived things That can out-bleed Your souls to the core your body to the hole Breathing, to me is like a, life support Frontal lobes expunging bad reports See I couldn't wait for time to froze For death to fry my motherboard "My name is O, I'm survived by a de- generating body, even forgot to count." Anonymous group therapy It's just, I've got a beautiful melanin So you can't see the pain they left on my skin No tears just classical melodies For times I was begging them to love me 52 black keys 36 white, it's like melancholia controlling the narrative I went from being a symbol of? (Negative) Over and out Demerol and Sorafenib be wearing out Just a city of pain in her veins And a village hidden in dark damper of clouds I don't how to feel Home was waiting for a funeral soon, at least that's what they say (Verse 2) We just a speck of dust passing through the glory We walk with tombs heavy inside the body When the eclipse met me I was a black rose in the graveyard stretching Then I wrote Cures, in ready of my Eulogy Who could've believed in my story? If I wasn't a disciple of coveted emcees? I was just Thesaurus Behind the veil, I was God in metaphors These junks Of old dying memories, swimming in ma blood My heart beats from the drums My mind rules my sick liver and my broken parts I can have a blast Even when I lived out of a black duffle bag I didn't wanna Turn into Walt, even though it started to break bad Cook my soul and tender the scars Time Has ground me slow When finally, my hands are nailed on the cross Torn rhymbooks And my records have lost all the glory and juice I want you to remember that I couldn't do it without you Pains me that I never had enough to share with you But just don't forget, our journey was still beautiful

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released September 18, 2019

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Ochuka Nairobi, Kenya

Omondi Ochuka is a Kenyan poet, visual artist and thinker whose literary flare spans ages beyond his time. From an early age, he displayed an adept intimacy to books.

He's been defined by critics as abstract, rich in metaphor and symbolism; a Saul William-esque pen with a cryptically profound nature. Fused with classical verses and Hip-hop, he gyrates words into a web of intricate melodies ... more

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