Mo Nyarinda The scattering collection of bodily harms; imagined or endured. That little anthill with rooms we have to struggle to fit our giant histories in, [it] reflects outcomes of surviving ourselves - everything that can cause us injury and loss can far more than recreate resiliency of thought and being. In our introspection, we enact remembrance of self and share parts of lives we've experienced and lived. We wound and heal, as demonstrated by the life of a flower. This aliveness is every human's sanctuary, the spirit to endure and thrive, the ultimate sense of being. We fold into yarns of memories. We bundle our story beyond just tragedies of bones and flesh. Like forests fallen down, stripped of their pulp, turned into different stories, we are human; although changing, ever-present. By name and form we are souls. All bound home. [Verse] I came to you when I was worse You took mould from tiny little seeds with a bereaved heart An afflicted health To persevere You speak to me through the dark And at times when rains bursted through the clouds and no one surrounded me and no one around to see I was dark as dark can be You were there and you saw and you showed me the light You opened my eyes I was blind, I had may rebirths but sometimes even if I can’t see you I still feel you by my side You love me for I am my fate's only child I'm a seed of words I climb mountains, agony steeples I thrive fountains, analogy sequel I am many people Cut from different clothes But these words come through for their personal tragedies The way colors of threads go through me The same way they grace through their own embroidery And even if we fall a thousand times It doesn't defeat our spirits for rising one more time Sometimes in loneliness I can feel my body calling people I share grace with For there are journeys that are only my own Like flowers, life is hope, To thrive, we survive just by that metaphor Sometimes with doubts and no explanation Why? [Outro] Mo Nyarinda The point of emphasis is that by following these at heart, as a bereft sufferer, I hope you stay inspired in your catalogues of grief, and still connect with mine. Wishful that your path moves you through and into the possibility of grace and endearment. Life is not only inclined to be mutable by whims. That is to agree to the fact that change is probably the inherent minimum for which life operates. We grow. We change. We live. We ail. We are relieved. We get lost. We gaze at the death of our dreams, hopes, stars — against time or in favor of it. There's almost a basic essential element that we can't avoid, all of life must face it. The entirety of life is designed to go back to this final design and motif.

|Verse 1| Nyanyodhi osesodha kuom kinde mathoth Mafup wuora lowo odino, Ochuka nindo okawi wuotho piny mabor For so long, I kept so many things in my soul Trauma bonding, Philosophies, thoughts that guided me through it all Napon gi rem gi kiawa Napon gi pidi dana Guya Nya-Koguta Donge asendiko ndalo duto kuom osiepa ma Maria? Nya-abiero yuora, Dineonge in, ditinde buya oumo lienda Soul survivor Some say it’s mind over matter I’m sorry mama Otieno mang’eny yandasiko aywago tuona Ahawo yweyo e kind masira mosiko kuoma Even though it hurts Samoro ang’iyo tipona before the mirror Grew up with so many battles, Peeps used to mock me that I didn’t have a father It felt better Cause Frank held me closer He told me, “Son, you’ll always be my son from my oldest daughter.” Ne okadwar dongo Gi god minyonge marateng’ e wiya nono You bite dust when you fall And you rise back, Lightwarrior born by the light of dawn Omondi means the early riser The first one to arrive before the others I was born and raised, Ochuka means a survivor Thoroughbred, Bless the hands that fed me bred And gave me lessons for life to navigate Atemo dolo gini mos mond iwinj juogi manechunya Atemo ndiko gini mos, mond ainspire I gi thumba Ka hera choke To an mbas liech, ojalo chodo chuny yiend okak Quiet soul, The quiet storm, Waya Risper yaandedendaga ni Tomra Diboo Sometimes, in this journey You leave a slug of memories in grass lawns Pod aparo joga masewito, jowi maratipo weyagi mirima The gift of the curse The alchemist professor, I’ve doodled colors of the clock, They used to call me daystar Chieng’ jamondo Gigi otama kano e kora, Are yimbo, milambo nyaka nyandwat Jachwech oseng’wenyo chuodho Nyakawa dala Ahuka yamo, kodh ajiki chwer gi chia Nyando mouomo river banks Oula sama mol, joma nitie wigot nyalo toye lak Ka mar wadu, Donge inyalo chwado picha aeto imede chumbi baa? Ka mar wadu, Donge ok nyal chandi da? Uno maonge ng’uti okinyal deyi ngang’ Siboi emigoyo aeto imedo gi kiawa? |Hook| Haaaah Haaahye hahye aye haaaahye (aye) Haaaye hayeeee haye haaaye haye (aye) Haaaah Haaahye hahye aye haaaahye (aye) Haaaye hayeeee haye haaaye haye (aye) Ouuuma bu winja? Koth biro… Kel uru dhok e dalaa Ouuuma bu winja? Koth biroo… Kel uru dhok e dalaa |Verse 2| Mikayi nenonindo owena nyaka achako minega Awuor jaber-nyiri, Even though you far away, There’s a miracle in these cells inside my body I remember the first breath when you called me daddy I remember you in every single way Every single day, Bless those that my paths have met Mudho odinona asiko arango dwe Asiko alamo gweth, To everyone who’s been there for me That’s why we write stories Immortal’s pencils still stuck on razorblades In these, Trying times, rewind the mind I only wish for joy, love and grace I’m thankful for every joy I ever felt Sometimes I am down, feeling like I can’t go on I ain’t want this too deep, Listen to my rhyme and reason, The kind of raw that leaves a quiver on your skin I spoke my truth for long, It’s easy to feel like broken record, stuck on repeat This is for everybody walking through the rain Some heavy thoughts, Crying through the midnight train I know the language of pain I know how it feels, Balancing through the weather trying to keep yourself sane Magi e ndalo mag koth, Mane Ayub Ogada wero ni biro lor uru gi dhok Dhano olokore lee, Masira nie kor lwasi, dhano tho ka ywech This life is old, But the wheels keep turning on and on Bed gi mor kod hera e chunyi, mag piny bura oloyo Nanim pile e aoch mgima maduono nyaka karang’o? Othung’a gi nyiero, At nights some warm tears when my grandma prays Thagruok nyalo miyo chuny chido Tembe mag del kod ngima osiko, Piny koruuni nyaka samipedho dendi inindo Koth biro mana bang’ buru gi oroo Jonabi ojot e lela lando kendo koro Let every word I ever wrote be a piece of my soul, Wherever you walk, And there too belongs to my soul.

O me ni polymath Nabii na detour ya poet akibody verse Tunaell soul na baado hakuna mtu anataka kubuy? Mind decay, na vitu sikutaka zidie Sina delivery na flow, So labda me ni mkunga me na metaphors tunaroll the dice Old dilemma kwa Dua, na sikuwa hata na body bag Nimeplay chess na reaper Yellow line kwa lami nyeusi, Kwa garage ya dreamers Nimekuwa nikichora script kwa polygraph Hakuna mtu aliona soul nilificha ndani ya metaphors Dunia ya nani, Outsider kwa msafara wa tragedy ilinikuta before Nilidunga scars zangu na morphine Nikajiunda God of the pen from my own motif Kuna fossils Dinosaur, penye life ilinicrown maua poisoned my body Weather imekuwa vagary Lethal vile si huroll the dice na magic Black gold Hii ni ka ile barua niliandikia Maria before Soul Survivor, Broadcasted na faith broken, pamba rachar Oywa Nyakach thurgi Ochuka, Third president revolutionary Tumekutana na eclipse Kwa valley rough gi wuod K’oyugi K’ojwach Naandika kuhusu the genius sketch Kuhusu struggle za cancer na dreams nilihave kuforfeit Loner nikiwish upon stars Bila hata courage ya kuface another day Tuliauction pain Thoughts ni paraphernalia za darkness tumefuga in silence Kila November Naget traumatized body yangu ikivutwa kwa ambulance Nika ile unforseen scene Kwa Money Heist Nairobi akipigwa butwaa na bullet Life ikageuka uncertain Saa zingine inafeel ka black roses Maua tumetupa juu ya wenzetu ambao wako fallen R.I.P Soul imekuwa potent Silent kwa ward, hio graph ikiflatten Iliwacha madhangu broken Niliona Nikki na Mira wakiniuliza nawacha Awuor na nani Most days nimeweka soul yangu ndani ya hii fani Most nights niko lost, natamani roho yangu iende mbali Ni ka shadow ya maji iko wet, Kuna vitu mob nimeeka chini ya bridge Lost within myself, Naona machine ikigrind slow, ni ka metal haina grease Purple flowers kwa moyo inableed ukiishi kwa battlefield Kalamu ina wino, Ulimi imebite vumbi, Checki vile nimecross pollen Hakuna fear kwa hii njia Juu graveyard nilisharudisha balance kwa pocket Nimedoubt hii pen Nimecrown hii head Nimesmile, nikaweep kwa hii face Nimesound insane Nimeclown me mstrange Na hakuna clout nimechase Kwa kila chuom utakutana na vitu vimeundwa na mkono ya binadamu Walinisema vile me ni jeneza Nangoja kuletwa home after like miezi tatu We unajua ile courage si hutake kutell our truth? Mtaa wanajua me ni mprolific Doc, I never stopped dreaming Tunahema kwa waya ndio tujue ka we still breathing Bleed from the thumbprints Death of a daydreamer, The professor with the genius blueprints Ruu yath golemo e dhogi Wach en dhano, wiyino e dhandi Chunyi no e ng’ati, timbeni e ohandi Jomoheri kendo ogeni e mbeseni Back to the roots, Buya Marach, Ochuka — its prophecy!

Grave Ndio si hutupa stench na curse Vultures wanahangover, karamu ready kublast Home, Ndio hubeba uchi wetu ka stretchmarks Migodi za Kinshasha ni vita na sio Simaro Lutumba Flash out gadgets fancy tukicruise kwa Uber Map lines zimekuwa bloodlines Genocide Ndio hutucrossover Ballot sio show stopper, stripped off, body raw copper Mitaani, dumpsite za contraband Vita yaani, take flight, tour za tanzia kusifu future black Makasi kwa ribbon, carpets zimecover bloodbath Tamaduni Ndio hutusuta Tofauti zetu hutuleta closer kudunga Roses kwa soil Africana, kahawa inataste closer to blood Risasi zinaua raia, rais aliziunda bunge Ndovu zinaporwa kufadhili ndoto za mapedeje Na kwa rally crowd zinahema, mauaji kiholela ili waheshimiwe Tafsiri, kila mtetezi ana zake risasi zinamngoja azimwe Sihitaji flow kali, ndio hisia zijadiliwe Masomo ndio kwanza yetu adui, hatwezisimamia sisi wenyewe Tunangoja katu kwa laini msaada tupewe Na zimepita miaka, siku moja njaa itamuua mlafi mwewe Anayepora kwa dhamira yake mwenyewe Wanaofilisi uma kwa sababu ya ujinga, umaskini, maskani njeve Afrika ninakulilia wewe Ndio nikatoa sauti sijui ka itabadili chochote Au ni migogoro na fitina ndio kutuandama siku zote? Track – Ode to the Dead Mlipofuata fauatika Wasifu ilikuwa bitter, historia ikafutwa kabisa Chozi la mbingu ndio hunyeshea watenda wema na wenye hila Wound imekosa kinga Juu yenu tunalima maua tender tutenure Airlift picha za beggars, usaidizi urudi tena Nyi sio watu tena Nyi ni, sijui, hivi vumbi inaezakuwa mchanga? Au kiu, ni body inajimeza? Track – Walking Down River Road Downtown, mdomo ina maketepa Kuna Congo inflow, inaletanga nostalgia Hapa ndio bongo ya Nai Biz commercial, ni ya mangirima wamekomaa sio? Mchana marathon Juu za mbio macity hawker kanjo Mathree mboka, rush hour, mitaani wanarudi after hustle Pande nyingine, chunga sana usiperembwe jasho Ni scent za chupa za jana Au kukafunga za jioni, landi mawe macho zinapenyeza Usiku zile bulbs funny, blue magenta Mahunnies wanahook bait, chunga mchele usijeukabebwa Ukichafuliwa pia kuna mashini za kuosha nyota Kuna dawa za kugeuza mende shilingi pesa Inatafutwa magedhaa Ukichanja sana, ficha white Usipopata, zidi Ngara wauza chuma kali Karikoko kwa grind

[Could’ve given you everything that you need But I cannot turn back the years] On that day They surround you one last time, throwing roses to your pit? Souls come to tumble Torn from poetry, sometimes I reminisce The holes are too brave How come you can’t take what you gave? Pictures, stanzas These words are broken But still They blood-written by a survivor! Brother been brutalized Medicinized, no shelf carry a cure Passenger rendition to cover dark days and lonely nights Skateboards, what memories do thoughts prescribe? Pollen wire, Call a flower by her name and not a rose Name a sad song I never wrote? Phone buttons peeling between June and July Truth is I was petrified But I heard lyrics that god wrote My soul brothers helping me breathe through the microphone Deep roots burst open to make the berry ripe When words are widows And letters are children whose fathers died on deathrow, When daddy left that rainy November looking out the window Sometimes prayers are the only way we doubt the soul Too bad I fell, How can I be whack when I am prolific with the pen? I couldn’t dumb down I had no flow My delivery had no punchlines and quotable It was you, Kodak and grandpa Woman in prose, her blue body When I think of her soulless piece lying next to a bottle of scattered pills I was like, fuck it What would you have me do Frankie [Sometimes hits me in the morning, hits me at night That I cannot turn back the years] Stuck on your negative like photographic memories Reflecting how hearts turn quick into stones Instead of glass or flowers, We was carrying remains of you back home Hearses groom on the road A heart is the most painful wound I know That’s why pen and paper And I kill every line like knocks of a woodpecker I’m pain, I’m tender, The sight of fuses frying, Mercy death clock timed against the tumours Impressing scars on my leather like some sadistic mafia The craft is sombre Like pieces of me laid back on an open casket PET Scan with contrast Intimacies torment, Touch me only if you feel my pain Theatre of scars Pencils dancing, The playwright is interstellar For the years I couldn’t turn back Bulbs blooming, We all shed tears So don’t cloud in your head and forget to bleed out your feet Eleven minutes to midnight I was watching machines suck life out of you, I fictionized Touch where you most visualize But prayers are masquerades Miniature keys stroke very grand Denominators quiet below the flesh Too many walls I just wonder, If I gave up who would pour the paint? Who’ll dry your wounds, Show you courage and sing with you some blues? For seasons have flaws And symbols have faults But I cannot turn back the years Since that Easter as a young boy Eyes fixed on sickening pictures of Jesus Poor Maria’s boy nailed on the timber Black Chi on the mirror Who you thought loved you before your name became pain? There are no better accidents Carbon copies, My soul was tired so I cried out for the life fetcher From times I scripted my eulogy and said it was written To years later the graveside soils flatten Pain has no long ago Mental pictures, blow me off, Let me dance with no devil, even if it’s the one I know Building hopes out of things that die and go Abstract soul, This is where both life and death are found Ropes around the body, No single thread for the narrative Harbinger, thought debris Crust of some metaphors, Mini-syllables Rap fables Pretending to be strong, what a mockery! Functions deplete Catheter feed my body with medicine More than sinking ships In uncried tears, How can you drown and still breathe? Beyond fireflies in our bodies Blockbuster titanium and beneath the cranium, Star wars are not our only stories Beyond text, lyrics and memories It’s like drift of the unknown, healing mostly comes from within

For every breath that you breathe, There’s a survivor’s story Maua zinablossom, Wounds kugeuka scars, design ya vile tulibleed Wanasema mind ni lawama imebebwa na body juu ya ratili Mchana ni kubattle misery, Jua ikizama hata mbalamwezi haina faraja Maisha juu ya ramani Changamoto umetiwa, Ni ka mchezo ya tragedy juu ya fani Proof of life Machozi imemwagika, ni ka wino flani inachora dibaji Kila mtu ana story, Labda battles zenyewe ndio haijulikani Kila pain unafeel Kila storm umeweather kwa hii pursuit ya dreams Kila mvua ya masika, Na kujichoma nafsi, moyo ikigonga kila day Juu ya mafikra Kujitahidi kuona kile kesho inaezaleta Dark days juu ya clouds above Maradhi ya moyo inaskumana, Ni ka shadow iko cast chini ya msalaba Life huleta machungu tele, Unaezahisi hakutawahikuwa na faraja Jamii ina bovu stigma lakini uskufe juu ya shame, Naamin bonjour, Asubuhi ikipambazuka jua kuna better day Jikubali, Self-love ni njia moja ya kuondoa pressure begani umebeba weight Jibu gani, ka unacount losses ni ka kulipia gharama na mistakes Trials and tribulations Lifelong cries of a broken soul Some wars are hidden, others you carry on your own All the struggles, They say the apple never falls far from home Everyone’s goes through the struggle, it’s how you carry on Society is broken, we still grow to survive from the ground And some are self-inflicted wounds, we carry around Jijali, ujifunze kijitahidi uskionde So ukitembea kwenye matope, Macho kuangazia milima na mabonde Samoro lit omako chunyi, ng’amiring ire onge Samiwachi, kendiweyi, Jiw mana chunyi kod geno ibiro neno ber

“The only thing that could be bad is to take too seriously.” Yo, slow down Time so I can engulf my soul with some mystery It’s flooding out So I build courage, my faith is sold out So many wars I fought, a lot of battles lost I could have been a statistic I embraced the pain My body remembers I call the rain Ninth symphony of a really bad weather What burst pipes? They say diamonds on pressure What’s life, really? I am looking for my tears, Maybe if I collect enough, I can wash this old heart of mine Heart is blood and blood is spilled forever So every August, I am down with the weather I met the Eclipse on a day like this in November I kissed you goodbye Sad, life you feel like suicide In debt I owe the universe that collects our memories together No one knows why our souls cry Every night, I hear death swimming inside me, I try To breathe, no pain no gain I never get tired, Of kissing the night for you my soul I talk to angels To show me through the ways They say tumors are changing colours in my brain I use my breath as a vehicle, That leads me through who-knows-wherever For any day the end can knock on my bloody door I bloomed once I never let season’s kill my beauty Like jasmine flowers I lay on blue grass And use pain as my healer Somehow fate conspires to read my lifetime letters As I wait For my journey to end So I can kill the messenger Days like this, mama said they will be But many fall on they ego traps You might say you can beat this weather You might even say, time heals or things get better We all know how to die But do you know how to live? When did you remind yourself to breathe? Who taught you how to die? Who taught you how to breathe? Are we Measured by the deaths we die? Or the graves we dig To bury our pride? We wanna change the world But the world done changed inside I count the beads on her necklace Happy Mother’s Day, It’s August Twenty Third By the, Window seat, I pain like I am made of glass I think of you everyday Every way Like a, River Never rest I howl like a Wounded bird, dying in her nest Don’t test my pain I’ve stood time and wished I never See the coming days From high above My soul is edgy on the rough Where stardust turn grey I rewind memories to gift the nights I cry With another born star Another empty universe To seed with my genesis Another Kodak memories As I lay me down to sleep I pray for my soul to keep Sitting t//here thinking about the things that you can’t control Until your mind ex-plodes Eating merely ground, dusty scenes, laugh last when the tomb is closed At least tour blindly as you exit the soul Early arrival omnibus Flick the bean and let the doorbell ruminate the source Marvelous emcee Golden compass, Carpe diem and body count is wet cement above the corpus You can bet on the pen You can’t tame primordial recent arrival octopus Cross pollinate you with these metaphors Carnival, carnal knowledge, high on bean water Tarot reading, wild cards, the garden of Eden with ghost of raw leather Napalm, I’ve seen the future, simmer on gold ether Life is breath, ain’t death an air bender? I’m raw, vessels under compressors, these shreds are tender Camus debut, the absurd offender Between zero, sum of oneness, who’s greater? A grain of dust in the eye of the universe That touch of brass, some sensual when the verse mix with the sax Cyanide tooth, Bookmarking the poet’s delight No curtain raisers, just hell raiser Name a sign I ain’t intrude? Boost the tapping of the pollen inside Na caveat emptor, lethal grade pen V the razor Grew a flower, against the dew of an early riser Daystar, No tomb, no wound No womb, no blues Feeding tubes and flat lines If you want the proof, stoic front seats, the playwright projects my life There’s a thing you can’t undo The thin veil that separates night and day life The metaphor of water, when a soul ignites The heart is a lost compass, A newfound trojan The wisdom of the crowd, what separates the head from the fossil The mind from the body Do or die, the bridge or the river Dual life, the gift of the giver Between time and space, what’s the measure? Before the great collapse, cradle the wallflower Overlooking the farm of all weed growers Before life becomes an infinite amount of dust Escaping its own craft Filling its own trap This is the fine needle hole through which the thread goes The same tragedy the hero knows The very same mockery of life’s paradox You can’t remedy me, even with your most potent antidote My prime is lifelong If ever this be the last song, here I come, ready or not. Sitting t//here thinking about the things that you can’t control Until your mind ex-plodes “But as an apple it’s just as lovely as they grow, a baby is as lovely as an adult”

Midnight Hii ni ka tu Midnight Thoughts kwa Dua ya Nafsi Turap? Ama tubonge, tu? You carried diamonds on the in- side Breathed only guts, for life Life was a small debt to pay A huge love for pain Cut through the whole valley Your body was a holy lawn, by then Who knew how to split souls into journeys? Who taught you your sadness? Who chalked your board, black and lonely? So many days I sit on my own pedestal Making mind-trips, through high-dose blueprints I hold my spirits high, inflammable Cathode rays passing through my dreams I go literal Another sad episode Me and my mental, materials I contract every dirt that sways, past Clean cut slate Blank every time I wish on the moon for its grace I'm soiled Waiting for time to collect in a poodle And I'll jump lame and plural For days I ain't have no nights My veins pull out Spill my inside on the floor I approach my shadows with a heavy flaw These poems can get heavy yo I swallow my soul, When my sad belly calls Unplugged from the knife, yet we still red with flow I've over- used pain as the lead chord No more blood hidden in the snow No more god, under the dome No more backcross to carry our homes No more roads left for the sand to know Just another sorrowful crow Just another, another sad song Just another of my last songs

Dear dawn wonder You shine bright, through night skies when stars are sparse You bloom fine, my little budding universe Your grace anchors me like gibbous moon when I was writing you this letter The pen leans, to leave tender indelible scars Dear daughter, Mother of my heart Because the world stays heavy sometimes Our souls conjure borders to brave these trying times I cherish every moment that I am your father Though nights may be dark Though life makes it hard To dream of home where there's plenty of love Where light sparks every beauty enough Though memories wind And questions flood Dear little soul Sometimes I wish we would know If they look down on us and feel our love I'm the clay of your own flesh I'm the day where your night is kept You're the springing well where my source is felt Your laughter brings me joy Your breath crotchets, hope for my tired body I still have fireflies dancing inside of me I still fill my soul with the scent of your first words May roads guide you home, ma May rose be a flower, among your paths May doors open you beyond divine palms May love find and lead you far Supernova, marvelous scheme of beautiful stars I swear on your mother and sister, now watching over us Keep you safe through times as designed by the craft I give thanks, for you, for you I give thanks, for you, for you You my baby, You're my mama Talk to daddy whenever you can I promise to understand I'll be there to hold your hands Baby be your superstar Future plans see you going far May God guide you where you are Baby be your superstar Future plans that's where you are May God guide you going far

[Lib] When I find home, you can come live with me When I find hooome, you can come, you can come live with (When I find, When I find, When I find…) (Hooome, Hooome) Am still searching for, hooome… (Yaaay) Am still searching for home Luoch odino wang’a, mudhono tera mana dala Okinyi kachieo to mama golo ololo e wang’a Mond mi anen maler, achiw mich gi gweth Aduolo nyinyo mag mbala, biech uno kuona nanga Nabiro duk, Pien denda osar kod pala mabith mar hera Nyakach lowo rateng’ Chuoth anywang’ ma rateng’, Pamba mawuokie to rachar ka pee Kido mar bend ochuti ringe e remba be Chwow kodhi e olaw mang’uloni e san ni Buor kar jotni, ero kaw hapa, donge an in? Luonga kod nyingi, Twang’na wer kod kuth konga, akiew alama nyadidi? Alaktar, pedo, okuro, ochuoga… keyo bang’ puro Mana kaka oganda g’ombasa muoch puuuu! Rabuor ang’wenyo lop pundo sama agwelo puch Mondo achweni atonga mayot Koth chwe, window seat, nostalgia tera mabor Liel achielni oting’o siganda Nitie kidieny minyalo gan godo binda Rateng, maup rose dongo samoro idonge thim, Thim ok lich ohinga? Ragen, malutu kod miero, are Yimbo nyaka nyandwat Dala kure? Dala ok lum e tado, kata chumbi bala e tap kado Dala piny ma ruu, pogruok osiko to kwe kebde e ber budho Dala rawat, aoch dak milore mos, En kar romb jamni kod wath Kod nam Kod gode kod aoche, bunge kod dwar Mana kaka rot ok en ngas Aluwo tiiir sulwe marieny mabor kagima an jakwath Duog itera bayo (Frankie) Maria oseritowa maber, Muoch osekawa ahinya kod kuyo ndi Onge maru, Wito u, ai lit! Chal mana kagima fuondiwa emoridh Odong’ bugo malit Samitedo chuodho Siany Mond losgo od Freddy last December E kaka del be, itego kod mach makwar Jomoko gombo mana kuma dikanie ringre ka chieng’ otow Moko dondo ramba, mabor kod pon Dala nyalo bedo nanga Maumo dugi kod gweth, Katobedo nionge kata rangach Yadh olemo tipone hoyo chuny, Katobedo ni pote lwar kendo makolwer dolo tach Del minenogi e utewa, wabuoroe abuora Rem miwinjoni, winyo wiye kiwil gi ode da Dala mokwongo miyude pinyka en ich Ma❤️ Dala migeno gi lala to ket gi chunyi mar ariyo Ma ka wuoth oteri mabor, tiwinjo riyo Ma ka mudho odinoni oko, kuma ondiegi ema ruto Ma ka wendo olimi, tirwake gi mor gi sironyo Ma ka dhoudi olororeni nono, tisirori gi ragwar motur Ma ka wadu oketi machiegni, tiyudo mwandu Ma ka piny ong’udhi oko, tichukori gi tuo gi songa Ma ka ng’ol omiyi midekre, timodori gi yiend adhola Adier inyalo gombo dala Inyalo keyo buru e yamo kimanyo taya Piny ogondoreni kendo ng’uti omoke rot Pii omuomoreni kendo ng’ich onge mach Tera dala, Wenda ni e dala, Osiepe mabeyo e ohanda Chich dala onge, Didang’ni bende ndi, kitemo ng’iewo bech ngima Born and raised, Among hours of glory, home-embraced; Now we reside in memory, grandma’s dementia Flowers of long-gone fathers, sleeping under tangerine, The opulence of family gardens became graveyards I didn’t realize my questions of home, were me searching For lush fodder, Winam is overcome by hyacinth My pen is my pharmacy To cure something is to heal it from the source Stargazing Nyabondo plateau from River Nyando Plains Spell the bee, two sweet My childhood room trophies I still keep them within Gifted, morning daystar appearing in June 93 Cows lactating to feed me, Tiny I survive on grandma’s laps, beautiful My young mother a portal, Poetic, everything am fond of Rough valleys? “Never forget you’ve got a travel companion in me, Walking our way home.” “Weather forecasts, cinematic for reasons our paths cross.” I nourish you, tarnish you, I give you a dose of soul therapy, Something to revitalize your potency Color grade a piece of me, Blend it with meaning and matter Child lock, astronaut and gravity, boy I am my mama’s Home is the thin veil of love, Where souls cluster That’s why grief be heavy when you truly know what grace is Breathe from my nest Ache from the battle wound in my chest Yeah, we soil our sleeves the blossoms make our bodies thrive Long roads seem far, One day they’ll lead home when we arrive Home is a scent, The smell of flowers, in this brief moment Home is a pulp, A raw picture of dreams hanging in living rooms Aroma of seasoned veggies, We’ve cooked and simmered our mouths to feed Even though we all dream of stacking green benjies Top tier cream, So close to the skin, water and blood ain’t thick Sometimes I reminisce Over all places and people I’ve found home in I’m full of gratitude, Even though the glass gets empty at times Home is an immutable prayer on these lips Of nights we use medical scans to locate miracles within “Yeah, I pray you have enough of everything.” Home seeks, Home molds you from a piece of clay To quiet storms, the brittle bridge and leap of faith (as right) Though we push boulder, night and day, I close my eyes and ponder, Levitate with the light away. And when I am, I find home, You can come (live) with me.

This is where it begins, over the garden wall The red, faded brick wall The stretch from home, behind grandma house, roses stand tall Sunflower souls watching after the sun Bended on both knees, but they still stand tall This is how you breathe, Pomegranate seeds bleed juice between the fingertips A place called home, Where fireflies crack their souls to make it through the nights And weaver birds sing for their souls to feel alive This how you dream, Buried like broken seeds Who would have thought, a boy raised with no father could be? A gifted soul, A perfect picture frame of a river flowing on its way home The one who dreams to distant stars and beyond Probably one of the kindest souls I ever known (Dear Soul) A gentle warrior Walking with the valley of the shadow of death beneath the sole I was born with no chance of survival A small hole to battle whenever the heart beats, it drowns I know what it means to cradle regret In search of ghosts long gone Trying to heal through the traumas staring at you in the middle of home Since pops died, Feel like I gathered hope before the mirror and cried Told myself, “Dear Soul, your smile can make these flowers grow!” And maybe sometimes, Tears are the nourishing water the seeds need to bloom some more This is how you breathed, homie A tiny body of a daughter in your arms, A day in February She was still warm, like stars burning from up above Pushed her little sister out, while breath escaped her lungs This is how breath becomes air Some say it’s wonder Some name it a miracle, that seeds are inside the flowers It’s like, The warmth you feel by the fireplace Seventeen, my soul had already been consumed by the flames Through nights blood trickled through her veins Through days, her fragile lungs beneath the glasses incubated Then blues in August In ashes we threw her beautiful grains A year later, they found death hidden in my guts And they told me to hold on And keep the wreckage afloat Wooden doors and glass windows Metallic floors and vomiting biros Unending grey clouds Knives stuck on my petals every day to weather the storm Why me? Why not you? Mind over matter Break the clusters of my breath beyond that day in November Like energy by does within Can never be destroyed nor lost never You ain’t nothing Till you take hold of the space with your shadows Eyes welling with tears that you won’t cry And memories fall like the milky weed fading away A stranger in your own body, are you even alive? Pills a d razorblades So many times they sending watchers to see through your pain This how you breathe Shattered glass on the sidewalks Lost melodies of sad songs that you trying to compose I see you You fragile and beautiful one I see you I’ve seen you now and a million times For this is how I have been alive Strength sufficient to indent these thoughts in semi-tangible space Through unpredictable tides Whenever life would get stormy, bloody and wavy I shine through the dark Some call it grace Some call it wonder, life that cannot be killed by the grave Day by day, The stars come home, leaving me less afraid Of the quietness of my soul whenever this pain is feeling heavy Whenever she prays, “Will it be tonight? That a note is left behind? Please lord, don’t let it he tonight, or any other day or night I pray, my little son, that you live to testify about these terrifying times Please hold on And never let the starlight eyes lose their glimmer in the dark Just hold on.

Today, Today I’ve passed by Away You left my life Every night I pray in turns Now you’re gone Far away They told me time was of the essence Like these sentiments we mumble while we count away our seconds Life was moving faster than death was ever expected Till it showed up uninvited and left us alone with less of you my friend Too many times I know I’ve felt this kind of pain So many answers that I still don’t have the questions for I drain the biro now until there’s nothing left to pour And beat my broken heart against my ribs until my chest is sore I’m in denial and alone Like how I wanna hear your voice and try to, Dial up your phone And I can’t block away this pain You see me hiding in my bone It’d be a lie to say I am strong enough to survive you gone But: You can’t replace the irreplaceable The same way you can’t evade the unescapable I know you’re gone but they can’t take away an angel’s soul I hope you’re watching over I just wish there was a way to know Dearest Freddie You’re gone but not forgotten In these memories you left me to get lost in more than often I’m reminded of the price we pay for loss and what it costed Your path became my own when I was lost enough to cross it When I was diagnosed with cancer it was you and grandma arms wide open And you were just as scarred up as I was Burning bright The same way a falling star from the sky does We helped each other finally put the hardship behind us So easy to hate the world but it makes it harder to find love I regret so many things, Frankie The cruel death crept and covered your strongest face I still wish I had the chances that I’ll never get again You always had my back until the motherfuckin end That’s why you’re still alive inside of mine and all I’ve ever been But: You can’t replace the irreplaceable The same way you can’t evade the unescapable I know you’re gone but they can’t take away your angel’s soul I hope you’re watching over I just wish there was a way to know Thanks for the love you gave and lives you left inspired by it For your heart of gold And the times that I tried to idolize it You was my superman big brother My mentor, my teacher, my best friend forever You was gold, Certified OG, remember when you used to call me Wuod Jaduong’? (Black Rose) Your love was written in the stone I saw home drown when we lost pops & older brothers You carried us on your backbone Man, how do I even mourn? What do I tell Mary mother of God? 2:40am and I miss you, am aching in my soul For every moment I lost faith You revitalized it You left a light that will shine forever Alive and vibrant You gave me strength when I was helpless The definition of love for the one who had never felt it Thanks for giving yourself in a way that was so selfless Thank you for still believing in me when nobody else did And I can see you in heaven now Smiling down on me, a legend now You’ll be my brother forever so don’t you ever doubt That I love you and I wrote this out of love so I could let it out But: You can’t replace the irreplaceable The same way you can’t evade the unescapable I know you’re gone but they can’t take away an angel’s soul I hope you’re watching over I just wish there was a way to know

It felt better when I still wanted to live It felt better when I still had something to give It felt, Better if I was never born in this world of pain Dying death of a fish In plenty lands, Of shadows and valleys Trying to sustain my spirits, I feel filthy like angel fallen I feed my orchestra with violence and violins Every breath is tied to knots of suicide I’m invisible yet misery keeps me company in plain sight I wish I could use my eyelids for lifesaver jackets for all the tears that flow, Dry inside Black powder, My heart is a winter in my mind like bipolar It felt better when it was do or die I wanna plunge a knife, Rip off the arteries and let my batteries die Watch the angels of death close my eyes And not see my daughter across the other side It’s like, I murder my crows Poetry don’t save me more I feel like a white night, mourning with a parliament of owls I feel like blackbirds are suckling my juice all Bleeding without my hand on the straw It felt better when I still wrote dope songs And love letters and voice notes Now I feel like I was gone so long I can’t call mama, Battle cry with family flaws Dear Maria, Did you hear me cry in that song? It felt better when I didn’t feel like I failed you Pariah and greyhound I’m tired of these grey clouds My own wounds have my own bite marks as crown It felt better when love had only a few thorns When Francis was alive, O I felt like I had a home But I dug shallow my grave And buried deep my eulogy where my heart lost its brakes Used the graphite in my mind to survive things I would never tell I was my own father’s reject Sick, I don’t even know my own story, that’s something I regret After so many questions I let it breathe, gave birth to two daughters We gave them our mother’s names Dear mother I set you free All I wanted was for you to stand before me as a mirror and see you, my queen It felt better when I still hadn’t wished I wasn’t born When wind blows through family trees Do they speak clarity of this pain I feel? Ma you said wounds don’t heal under masks, they need air, they breathe Why do I feel like a letdown, a disgrace It’s almost 10 years since cancer fell me off grace I needed love, I needed this body on good health I need a heart, I wanted courage more than the fear I displayed It felt better when I had love and I wasn’t afraid Of being a fuckup, With high walls, Of a shameful degenerate Of being a sucker For sad songs that take hold and kill slow When I had light and I burnt bright to rekindle kind spirits of tough nights It felt better when I looked up to me Dear O, I feel like you look down on me Dear Wycliffe Toussaint, born sinner Dear Doc, black rose, born Darren why did you hate your own names nigga? Dear Soul, blackout, lost cause you never had a father figure? Or did you ever feel like your life was an ashtray? A milkweed a dandelion, like your life was a stray? Were there days you wished you’d have stayed? Fought through the rain, maybe taught others how to remember your name? Fall back and watch the tyres burn on the road, laid on the bed? Felt brave enough to reach out to your friends? Fallout, find yourself and try making amends? From here, where do we go? I wanna leave this body The burden of a souvenir There’s no more will in my soul, just lay me down here Broken right from the moment from the womb I eject Project blames, for all the ills, odds and defects But what’s time if not a measure of death and life? Where butterflies die in their own dirty light Don’t cry, Son of woman, everything is gonna be alright It felt better when I felt graceful inside My hands are tired of needles and pins Started telling myself that I am a flower inside of a seed I’ve watched every hand held out for me I’ve lost bets, feeling like nothing, even after every good thing they’ve given me I never knew I was grinding, till my particles deplete If there’s a cure for a sick soul, I wonder how it would treat? It’s been more than fault of stars, or the emperor of all maladies It’s more than fundraiser Paybills that made me afford chemotherapy It’s more than wishing your silence could speak Beyond, “Just checking on you and sending you love…” It’s more than wishing for a kind, quiet death, to finally sleep It felt better when I found ways to stand on my own two feet Hide behind grandma’s house, next to the graves and weep It felt better when I write Remains of Sins Before studio time that helped me auction my pain I wonder if there’s anything worthy in the music I made Or the souls I connected and touched Beyond exchange and trade I wonder if this is the story that no one ever will ever tell The currency of our days Without glory, for me, I just wish that somebody listened to the kind things I said And hoping my scars don’t detonate But even water returns to itself Like a Healer touching the river on its face I’m water, my boat is my departure I’m fire, let my bones carry music deeper I’m the earth, let the clay soils muse with fine millers Blue lilac, flames Indigo child, from destiny I long to return to fate And if this is the letter I write Let it envelope my silent nights Nights I tried, nights I cried Days I died, with the weight of my own soul inside My battle cries, My little girl, my butterfly Having given you soul, I wish that you would understand why. And from my own lips to the universe’s ears Let every dark and night I am become light

Kinachokuumiza Haukioni (Tomorrow in Ashes) Kinachoniumiza sioni Hata baada ya giza, nuru huwa tu bahati Uchungu maradhi Biros inasiphon wino, juu life enyewe ni journey ya soul Nafsi inahifadh uhai, Haipokei Ninadai why, kuishi kwangu ni ka dejavu Body inanitema slow mo, So niko kinda blue Graphite ni raw, Already soul yangu imeblow fuse Body yangu ina landmines Hii pain imenikula for so long Roses Nikikula barrel ya gun, flowers zitablossom What’s your Emergency? Siwezipumua proper, roho yangu iko unstable So anytime nawezablow out Fate ina joker kwa deck Nafeel sketch flani grey kwa chest Kichwangu imebeba ratili ya lawama Nilidhani matibabu zingeleta better days Sikudhani kusurvive ingenicost, Hizi tender shreds Nimeishiwa na machozi, ninableed tu flames Juu after survival We tu ni hadithi fatal Usiku pills, uko lonely, uko mental Dreams za kulecture theatre, Labda calling ni tofauti, rangi ya wino imenigeuza tailor Masela wamekuwacha pori Juu pia wao wanastruggle, Wanaezatu Kuvutia kamba, silence ikibadilika kuwa uzi Ya kucrotchet, juu sio kila language ni verbal Hakuna wound iko na childlock Auction pain yangu, dua yangu ya nafsi hata haikuwana shylloc Kasto, wasiwasi inafuck up your thoughts Kesho Kesho Madoc wameroll dice, Liver yako haitalast for long Maisha cinema, Ona kesho ilifika bila Freddie, hio joke ni funny lakini bye bro Kinachoniumiza sioni By day me ni soldier, Usiku ikifika me ni zombie Kikombe imebeba dhiki, kiu the violins for me Jua hii body ni battlefield Ilibidi nitoe metaphor cladi, Poems zangu zina blindspots kadhaa, zingine nimeharness placebo Mind yangu ni vaccine Haujui nilifaa nideady threes years ako, time ka saa hii? But fuck that Theatre ni scars, Author ni mugly juu ya flaws Ilibidi nifiche mbegu divine ndani ya Nikki Ask Awuor She’s got my soul Nimejizika mara mingi, Sijui ka niko purgatory ama heaven’s door Lwanda Magere, Kidi Mar Luo Niko Floki, viking nimemaster defects zangu kwa war Plot twist, siku ikifika ni one time True story So mama usikalie, Hadithi yangu ikiletwa, promise me Naomba ashes zangu zitupwe milima za nyumbani Ndio nikiwander nawacheki Na wasiniomboleze nikideady Juu life yangu hifai taste kwa ulimi, Ilikuwa ugly Nikienda body yangu isidecay Niliunplug juu sikutaka kuwabother na pain Ikasemwa kwa kejeli Vile miaka au miezi chache ndio nilibaki nazo Poetic Justice Ugonjwa ulinikula in my prime Ka singekuwa stoic, labda story ingekuwa tu suicide Nilidai many times ingawa nilipewa tu one life Nikajitoa juu ya aibu Nikajiasi pekee yangu Nikazungukiwa kimya za marafiki zangu Ilikuwa fresh tu Madakika few, ripoti zinabadilisha life yako inakuwa vumbi tu Future haijabadilika, Past yake kufollow after Kesho ikikuja, jua ikiashiria vile maisha ni metaphor ya flower Kuna defect imeniclimb kwa ladder Maisha ni ka maji ya river, save the last dance —.

Many thanks to: All of my broken things:- heart, bones, love, life… To my fellow passengers, it’s not terminal, is more like the courage of training days without visible clarity of tracks. We making the journey with derailleurs, underground railroad. To my lovechildren, to the fathers we never had. My far away friends, my day one’s, the bonds we fused with strangers, every stroke of my love is like a strand of the paintbrush. To the life we was given. To all the cancer survivors, I do this for you. Rest in peace Freddie, bless your soul dear brother. Rest in peace Nikki and little Mira. My love is deep all of the days. Reki. Denver. Danny. Mari. Frankie. Doris. Roger. To my mama and grandma. Love for you. Omondi Orony for ten thousand hours sampling my blues, gave voice to my silent pen. Kwame, much love bro. Gave me soul, for me to breathe on. Bless you Raynor’s son. To, Ash, Dorphan, Romi, Genetic, Afrikan Kodo. For fueling me with great intelligence and fostering my belief in the art. Gruff Lee for all the pure dope art covers, throughout my career. Thanks for appreciating my mind, for good friendship. Yo Mike Wudz, for putting me on in your studio. To everyone who has coped and supported my albums. To Neyortiz, Dawe, Kevin Mwachiro, Aluoch, Atwech, Arunga, Anyango, Esbi, Felix, Gigi, Joash-Steve, Abi, PJ, Phanice, Brenda, Sharon, Ace-Star, Jaber maJasunga, Ivasha, Neo, Oduor Jagero go Oduku, Obi, Freddie, Dims, Conci, Lavy, Baptiste, Mwendwa, Florence George, Afrikan Muhonja. Shoutout to all my tumours, the ghosts and angels that plague me during my hard times. To all the times I didn’t know how to breathe. Thanks to Dr Barasa, Dr Ayub, Dr Malkit, Nurse Romana, Professor Osoro, Dr. Awiti… To all my sincere fans who stayed by me, even when I had lost the passion, one’s who ignited the alchemist in me drowning in the backstage, anonymous. To everyone who’ve been there. To all who haven’t been able to. I love and won’t forget any of you. Swallowed my tongue, took thirty stitches on a, dying liver, many years of misery and melancholy writing my blues With these many death stains I find my flaws beautiful. We’ve put our souls on these ones. We’ve auctioned out pain. We’ve traded our aching bones in these stories we tell. Endless thanks to everybody who’s been there. Keep your friends close, your best ones closer cause it’s harder when they’re far away. To everyone who’s never given up on me, my art and my struggles: my journey. Without death we are not talking about life anymore. Everyone who pushed my gurney. Who sent me love I couldn’t pay. I’m not afraid if it ended today. I know light by a other name is darkness unpainted. Someday, we’ll dance away in silence. To my soul searchers. Everyone who help me raise, material things to survive, bless. To all we lost back in the days, we miss y’all. Keep fighting. Starve these life monsters with big fat love. Love is my favorite miracle. Reach out. Shout out. Unplug and televise the revolution in real life. Life is life. Life is now. Tomorrow is itself. Here now, gone next. Give yourself time to grow. If pain, let it be beautiful. If rain let it wash away, we all will lime away like dandelion to the milky way. To all my super survivors. Built with mega powers. Raised with steel, molten wet clay and flowers. To my daughter Awuor, my little one, my grandma, Love. To all the love that found me, to the moon and back and back and back again. And to my grandfather, I hope you’re proud of me Frankie. Sadie, I did it Baby. I always thought I’d be Pac, well I am me. Rest in power Tupac, flowers growing through the concrete, that’s we! People’s power! Peace. There’s war in the streets. That’s because our inner wounds go deep. Heal. Fuck writing, we only bleed! Fuck cancer too though, go die you ugly looking tumours and bad things! Algorithms of government & corporate industrial complex turning us into statistics, fuck you very much!